Soyjoy - All the Estrogen, All the Fat
We had an interesting/funny thing happen to us at Wal-Mart today. We went to the Dardanelle, Arkansas Wal-Mart, which is a bit out of the way for us. It was different than our local Wal-Mart. It has more of a “Costco” feel to it. It’s hard to describe, but there was a lot of concrete, there were unfinished ceilings, and the weirdest thing was that there were advertising kiosks plum in the middle of the aisles.
As if you don’t get marketed to enough in your daily life. As if you don’t get marketed to enough by the sheer volume of different products with fancy, colorful labels while you’re grocery shopping. Now you have to wade through crowded aisles as people yell at you to try some god-awful product that their scientists just genetically mutated out of a Soybean.
And that’s exactly what happened. We had finished our shopping. We had checked out in the sporting goods section to avoid the lines up front, and were headed toward the exit, when we were flagged down by a woman who must had been a reject from a Jabba the Hut casting call. I’m not one to usually make fun of people based on their weight (after all I’m still huge), but I’m also not trying to chase you down in stores and sell you a health product, either.
What delightful product could this portly woman be selling? Why, it was none other than Soy Joy. And boy did we look like we could use it!
She had a tray full of slices of what I guess were Soy Joy bars that looked like they had been sprayed with Pam or something. Maybe to maintain their flavor/color in a room temperature Wal-Mart? I’ve never had one of these bastards of science so I can’t tell you exactly what happens when you open the wrapper. They may, in fact, just be that oily. The picture of the one below looks more like something that you might find coming out of you than something you should be putting in.
Soy Joy or Excrement. You decide.
After going through her speil on why we needed to eat Soy Joy, I simply said:
“Sorry, we can’t eat that. We’re on a diet.”
To which, her clever response, “But this is diet food!” … Yes. Soy Joy is DIET food. Apparently it worked so well for this lady. “Only 2 grams of saturated fat!” she continued.
It was clear that we were losing a battle here. This lady was shilling for a company/product she knew nothing about and nothing would be gained from arguing my perspective in the middle of a busy Wal-Mart aisle.
“Ma’am,” I said, “I’m not even sure that can be considered food at all.” End of conversation. We walked out the door and went home to watch the Razorbacks lose to Auburn. What a crazy game.
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